Have you ever leaned up against the counter in the kitchen with a glass of wine watching the clock and looking at all the chaos around you? What about sitting back in your comfy bed at the end of the day once all is quiet and think, how in the world did we get here?
I can clearly remember 6 years ago living in a little apartment with an infant baby boy that could barely crawl. He was so immobile and so needy and he was… well he was the only one. How I thought life way back then was difficult, I have no idea!? I’d keep busy doing laundry or making a mess with craft things I almost always failed at and I really feel like I took those short little months that made up these past years for granted because I look now and have a little baby that is about to turn seven! SEVEN! We’re now much closer to 10 than six was and it is really sinking in that our years with him home are fading away at a rapid pace.
When C began crawling, I thought I would surely still have lots of time before he’d really be moving and walking. I can remember having thoughts of him in the future running up and down the hallways and giggling and fixing himself messy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And now he’s doing all those things and there are two more Littles nipping at his heels.
I believe wholeheartedly in Jesus and that His creation is flawless, but why do our babies have to grow up so fast? Or why does time not really slow down some times? Precious days turn to nights then mornings then days then nights then mornings and repeat and repeat like a broken record. I need to go on a Pinterest search to find the way to slow down time. Ha. This will be a question to remember not to question. Apparently these kinds of questions waste time.
Like most mamas, I become frustrated and aggravated and I yell more than I would like to admit, but as I mature and my babies grow and learn and do new things every day I try to enjoy the days more than I dread the meltdowns and tantrums and brother fights that are bound to happen. This whole being a mama to three kids, three boys, has been such an eye opening experience and this life is nothing I would trade for the world! The expression, “The days are long but the years are short,” is something I have to remind myself of daily. Sure I think of running away some days, and even have come really close at times, but these boys and their daddy are my sunshine when skies are gray.
Since Cooper was an only child for four and a half years, I was a borderline helicopter mama and watched him like a hawk. Once Miller came along, I loosened up a little and was overwhelmed but a little less stressed as a parent. On the other hand Oliver, oh sweet little O, he threw all the rules out the window and I don’t have time to stress over the majority of what the kids do, especially if that third boy is in the mix. I have learned that I can’t sweat the small things. Literally spilled milk each night and food all over the place, the boys playing in the mud almost every time we walk out the front door and beautiful Crayola and Ticonderoga artwork on the walls… well that’s just another part of the day! My kids climb and dance on the table and it doesn’t send me in an anxiety attack, we just go with it and dance them back off the table! They run and jump and play and throw balls in the house sometimes and climb all over the furniture and sometimes the only thing they wear is a diaper and pajama shirt from the night before. This is what kids are supposed to do, right?
Every single day I feel like I’m failing as a mama and think my kids are going to grow up and definitely have issues from a horrible childhood with a horrible mama [FYI, these are Satan’s lies]. But then after all the nagging and spankings and soap bars in their mouths each day, they still come up and give me kisses and hugs and tell me they love me! Wow. Talk about grace upon grace in parenting. I’m the mean ole mama that makes them do things they don’t want to do and punishes them because I’m a parent
and don’t want to raise little jerks or wimps and they still love me!
I’ve only been a mama for almost seven years and it feels like more time than I’d like to admit to myself. Time is such a strange thing to figure out. As much as I love my babies and my husband and our family, the amount of time that we have together is precious and I am working to cherish it more than I do the days behind us.
Daily, I will continue to wonder how did we get here, and I know I’ll never have an answer. Not having an answer is A Okay with me… as long as my O still wants to give me sweet sometimes fake-out sugar kisses.. and my Miller asks “mama, yew want way wiff me?” every night at bedtime… and my sweet Coop wants to do our “secret” bedtime kisses on each cheek then give a tight squeeze and an I Love You. My babies will only be this age today, they’ll never grow younger, this is just another “preaching to the choir” post because it’s something that I physically have to type out to see that I really need to take each day by it’s twenty-four hours and love and enjoy the time I have with my Littles at these precious stages in life. Yall have a good night. Xo.